Category: Success

Career, Emotions, Family, Happiness, Knowing Yourself, Life, Success, Thoughts, Truth be told, Uncategorized

To those who have failed in CA exams…

19th January 2015.
The day I became a Chartered Accountant.
I still vividly remember the day.

We had just returned to Kota (my hometown) after an overnight train trip from Mumbai, after attending a family function there for three days. So the winter was a harsh reality from the pleasant zero winter of Mumbai to being back to Kota. Because of this train journey, I had taken a shower quite late, around 10-11 am.

The moment I came out, I saw a miss call from a fellow article at the firm I did my articleship from.

Oops, my heart started pounding.

As I called him back, he picked up the call and asked: “Kya hua?”

“Result aa gaya?” was my surprised response, to which he said yes.

My mom had gone to take shower and I was virtually alone at home. So I opened up the laptop, connected it to the slow BSNL router we had and checked the result.

452 out of 800, result: PASS. (*Top 100 scorers in India then)

Wow!

The day I will never forget!

Throughout the day I did not feel cold at all despite returning from Mumbai back to shivering winters of Kota. It was in the evening that I finally realised I should be feeling cold 🙂

My mom came out of shower and started crying a lot. A lot. She basically missed my Nanaji for whom I was a source of pride and who had passed away eleven months back. The day was something me and my parents had been waiting for, for years!

But this is the success story. That I cleared CA Final (both groups together) in the first attempt that too with very good marks.

Here is the back story: I failed in IPCC twice. As on date, given the number of failures we get to face, this doesn’t seem huge.
Back then it was. Especially for a class topper like me since childhood, who ended up with this major jolt for the first time in my life.

You know what, my Mom cried then as well, for how could such a thing happen to me? (Yes now I know that I was responsible, but I just couldn’t convince her to see that part. Maybe I didn’t want to see that either!)

But I did clear the IPCC exam eventually. One group at a time.

That is the word you need to remember my fellow CA students: eventually.

The world isn’t going to be smooth even if you clear all three stages in the first attempt with AIR 1. It’s true that social media is not going to have your pictures when you fail.
It’s true that your neighbours will probably stare at you when you’ll leave home for coaching classes.
It’s perhaps true that a friend who was not expected to clear is a CA today and you aren’t!

All this is real pain.
And it hurts, especially if you worked hard.

But there is one more thing that is real: Your grit. Your persistence. Your belief in your capability that no matter what, you will end up with the prefix CA before your name eventually.

Feel sad as hard as you want to. Clean your nose with your sweater that your friend likes who is a CA now. Look at yourself in the mirror and just be, it’s okay!

But when you are done, don’t waste a minute pondering about what was and what could be. Just focus on what you are going to do next.

Winning in life is less about numbers and more about your attitude.

For example, I’m not a cunning person and because of that I sometimes get walked over (sometimes by my hashtag friends), and that feels very bad. But then I tell myself that my systems and ethics are powerful, so I needn’t be scared. NEVER ever has been a place in my life that because of not being cunning, rather being a simple human being, I hadn’t won eventually. Things always turn out to be in the favour of the person who works hard with the rights systems and the right mindsets.

And if you are worried about number of attempts, yes I did get a bonus of 1L INR extra back in 2015-16 because of being a first attempt passout. But today, 5-6 years down the line, almost everyone is earning in the same income range. Time is a great leveller and a wonderful thing to forget.

So keep up your spirits high my fellow CA students, it is only a matter of time that you will become a member of the reputed ICAI. Till then, focus on building systems and attitudes that eventually and undoubtedly lead to success, instead of letting things happen.

PS: In case you are wondering if I used some systems while preparing for CA Final exams after failing in IPCC twice, of course I did! I won’t blabber them here because the purpose of this blog is not to show you how, the purpose is to show you what. If you need help with systems and processes while preparing for CA exams, drop me a note at ngehija454@gmail.com and I’d be happy to help you out.

PPS: It will happen, eventually!

Success

One truth of life no one will tell you

You want to know the most important truth of life?

Don’t tell anyone about your progress. Just keep working hard and adding feathers to your cap.

But don’t pronounce it out loud. Even the ones who love you the most secretly start questioning you.

You may believe this. Or taste this yourself.

Wish you a secretly successful life 🙂

Happiness, Success

The reality of social media

You must have seen people partying on the beach on Instagram.
Or making teddy bears of snow.
And making you feel like it is your life only that is at loss.

Here’s a silent truth:
Someone I know personally posted a vacay pic of theirs, with a thoughtful caption and how happy they were truly being in this flow state of life. However, I know they are going through a really, really tough time. A super tough time.

It is great that they took a break, no doubts about that.

But here is what I want you to consider:

  1. Social media = away from reality. Almost always. Rather always.
  2. People show that they are enjoying because they have FOMO – they have also seen others showing their “happy” pics and would do anything to show that they are also happy.
  3. Our real nature is happiness. When we are away from it, we would do anything to get closer or appear closer to happiness. If we get close to real happiness, awesome! If we get close to faking happiness, our hole of sadness gets deeper.

Choose the form of happiness you want to live in. And the coolest of the coolest people, who are your (real) role models, they hardly share their vacay pics online with a “success-filled” caption. Because they know that real happiness is the remaining 350 days as well, when we are not on a holiday.

Read the above line again.
For yourself.

Success

Starting from zero

All the influencers you follow, none of them were born with the followers they have.

Also, none of them is Shah Rukh Khan’s kid.

So, when you feel that they got “lucky”
When you believe that you just can’t “get there”
When you think others had privileges “you don’t have”
When self doubts starts encircling you
When success seems possible only by magic,

Remember that…

Everyone started at zero. Everyone.

If the ones who made it had something special, they had this:

  • Breathtaking consistency
  • Belief in themselves when the world was busy rebuking them
  • Trust that if it is possible for others, it is possible for them as well
  • Learning from failure
  • Learning from others’ success

And many more pieces of the puzzle that get arranged once you actually step into the pool.

Start from 0. You did so in school. See where you are now. Start again, for a different curriculum of life you want to be living for.

Success

The best hack to be peaceful

In the last week of 2020, I removed the email app from my phone.

Little had I expected, my screen time went down drastically.

So, going to continue that in 2021 as well. Even if there is an extreme news of me making it to the best seller list, I’ll be able to enjoy it when I am peacefully sitting in a place to read that email. Quick notifications aren’t a great place to celebrate.

Maybe will try that will WhatsApp soon:)

Process, Success

Easiest way to beat distraction

Do you often see yourself huddling with waste thoughts?

You decided to stay focused, and five minutes later you are scrolling endlessly?

Happens with you?

We would have read hundreds of texts and literature on how to change that, and of all those, one has been the most effective: To always keep listening to motivational audios or read such books. I personally have started doing it morning and evening, and the results have been way better.

Now stretching it to four hours a day while working on mundane activities.

Not because it will give me motivation to act, rather because we are accustomed to act in a manner consistent with what we hear and whom we spend time with. Since what we hear and whom we spend time with isn’t something wonderful in today’s world, why not start with doing it on purpose?

Any habit that we form on purpose is what we reap benefits of without waiting for. Always.

Career, Success

Entitlement

Today I came across a wonderful story on LinkedIn, wanted to share the lesson from it here.

A guy had gone to a tea stall, where he saw a father struggling to get his daughter admitted into a top college.

The man had worked really hard, and the daughter had gotten into a top engineering college. More so, he was willing to work harder to support her through college.

So this guy who posted on LinkedIn offered his help, and after few minutes of helping him out, also offered this Uncle to keep his phone number. Now he will help Uncle and his daughter.

Which brings me to hunger.
When we are hungry in life, we help others in satisfying their hunger.
When we are happy in life, we help others get happier.
When we have risen from nothing, we love to help others rise up.

However, only the people without entitlement can do it.
Only the people who love hard work can help others in theirs. The ones who feel they can work less and get done with, don’t know what lies ahead of them.
Only the people who believe they “have it all” actually have it all. As the 1984 Apple commercial states: “They push the human race forward.”

So, are we pushing the human race forward? Or are we pushing ourselves backward by letting entitlement get in?

Process, Success

Are you still “fat”?

As a kid, a neighbourhood uncle used to call me “moti”, which is a Hindi translation for “fat girl”.

Not that I was fat, rather because as I introspect now, that was merely a reflection of his un-developed brain’s immunopsychological response to bringing people down.

People do it all the time:

You don’t appear happy, while in reality, they aren’t.
I can’t love you, because being devoid of love was how I was raised, and changing myself is a mammoth task.
I won’t update my LinkedIn profile and network with people, because struggling to find a job is how I finally get a job, and that struggle keeps me safe.

The blankets we throw at others are virtually the ones we are covering ourselves with.

Which brings me to this neighbourhood Uncle.
So when he used to address me “Moti” as a kid, I used to retaliate. Get angry. Cry. Scream. Literally beg not to call me moti.

Today morning, while returning from my meditation class, that Uncle saw me again. And he called me “moti” thrice. And I moved on, without responding.

Sometimes, what we were years back, we don’t drift from there even a bit.
I’m glad I wasn’t that today morning.
I feel for him that he hasn’t grown a bit in years.

So, my question to you is: “Are you still fat,” where “fat” means the thickness of the brain that makes it almost impossible for new knowledge to percolate?

Or have you lost that weight and become lean, where you allow the new muscles to form and happily let go of the stagnant ones?

Success

Minimalism and gareebi

“Do you have a passport?”
“I’m so sorry I bought it on Kindle, I don’t have the free download link.”
“Premium economy is a wonderful upgrade from Economy class.”
“You like this jacket? This is from Zara.”
“The beachside hotels in Goa are really lavish!”

Some of the lines I get to hear – because I live a minimalist lifestyle.

Instead of feeling bad about it, I am often amused at how people judge someone for not going out or repeating the same pair of shoes. Which in fact, also, allows me to aware of not to judge people based on how less they have. It may just be a choice.

(PS: On a lighter note, when people of Delhi go to Mumbai, they have to take off this judgement.)

To answer the above quetions:

Yes
I only buy legit books, because being an author myself, I know that a lot of people’s bread and butter is dependent on books.
Yes, thanks for this. I have travelled in Premium Economy. Next time, please boast about Business Class:)
Yes baby, I read “ZARA” written over there. I was being genuinely kind.
Of course, enjoy your Goa. I will enjoy it my way without documenting it:)

Firstly, judging isn’t right, because we never know what they are going through.

Secondly, even if they don’t have what you have, we don’t get big or small by the things we own. This comes from an experience of owning some shiny things. In fact, when we boast about things, they own us.

Thirdly, minimalism is the real richness. Ever tried?

Success

So there are two ways

Way 1:

People may make mistakes. That’s why, when you make a rectification in the email, send a fresh email, instead of a top-up.

This is usually a “don’t use your brain because you don’t have one and I anyway don’t trust you” approach. No one grows with it.

Way 2:

Making people more attentive.

How? Through meditation at work (even WFH), no-work policy on weekends, and endorsing silence more than loudness.

The world, after all, is no different from we ought to have created it to be.

Success

Two money lessons from my life

Some money lessons:

  1. If you want to earn more and you do have the capability and credentials for that, don’t settle for a less-paying job or contract. No one will respect you if you won’t.
  2. Pay credit card bill immediately after making the transaction. You will have reward points, AND you will not see a HUGE bill at the end of the month.

Tell me, have you tried these and succeeded?

Success, Thoughts

How to get what you want

How can you get what you want?

One option is very valid: Try. Put in the efforts. Do the hard work. Which is all very beautiful and necessary.

There’s another option as well: See yourself as awareness, just aware of everything.

It takes a lifetime to learn the second one. But when we do, we won’t read a blog titled “How to get what you want” 🙂

Success

I want to…

I also want to have as much engagement as GaryVee.

I also want to have as many views as MostlySane.

I also want to not think a bit before buying Zara clothes.

I also want to…

We want to do a ton of things.
And probably that will take a lot of time.

That’s not the problem.

Problem is that we are not even starting.
Problem is that we keep waiting for that ride without getting out on the road.
Problem is we don’t trust ourselves.

Problem is, we don’t even know that we are the problem.

How will we ever get what we want, if we never get out of our own way and take action?

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
– Confucius

What is it that you are waiting for?

Success

Do you know that popular kid?

You may be the popular kid. Or you may be not.

You may be the boss/teacher’s favourite. Or you may be not.

But there is something that could never be taken from you:

1. Hard work.

2. Beginner’s mindset.

3. Signing up to do the work that you could play politics on and get away with.

4. Taking responsibility.

5. Doing 1-4 even when it is difficult.

It’s not easy. That’s why totally worth it.

Success

Met my love on Diwali

Had decided to not work today.

But opened up the laptop and did an hour of writing. Felt like bliss.

Up until last Diwali when I used to have a job I didn’t like, I never opened the laptop for the 5 days of Diwali. Now that isn’t the case, thankfully:)

This is what true love is 💖

Keep looking, and don’t settle.

– Steve Jobs

Emotions, Success

A twist in the tale

Have you heard Robert Frost’s poem: “Stopping by woods on a snowy evening?”

The last lines of the poem look like:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep…

A lot of your friends / foes (lol) would be using these lines.

This morning, as I was dealing with a challenge, a place where I particularly get best of my ideas. So, while writing a piece of content, here’s what I came up with:

The woods may not be lovely or dark or deep,
But you still have promises to keep (to yourself)
And nowhere to go (other than within) to have a peaceful sleep.

That’s scary. That’s hard. But standing for yourself is the best thing you could do to yourself, because how will you change the world if your own bones are fractured? How will you?

Happiness, Success

Why are you so insecure?

What you have, someone is insecure about having.

What gives you pain, someone is researching that.

What you have, you had worked hard to get there.

Be grateful. And forget the fear.

Success

Infections in life

Happiness is contagious.

And our habits are killer.

We go where we want to go in life, based on what we do and who we are.

So if you want better things in life, be a better human being. The infection is contagious.

Knowing Yourself, Success, Truth be told

If no one told this to you, here it is…

1. You are doing your best. Stop beating yourself up.

2. You have a lot of power. You just need to check the leakage.

3. It takes a strong human being to always be looking for good. Be that tough human being.

4. Talk to yourself. Your need to scroll Instagram would vanish.

5. To walk your own path requires courage. It isn’t disrespectful of anyone, as long as you are not disrespecting them.

6. To stay silent in a throng of un-wise words is a measure of immense inner power.

7. To speak your truth even when your voice shakes is being powerful (again).

8. Standing for yourself isn’t selfish.

9. Being there to understand is a mark of an understanding human being.

10. It is very very easy to get caught up in the celebrity and blitz of the world, share the photographs of “your perfect world” and the new things you bought. If you do not use social media to generate this triviality in others nor to consume it yourself, you’re already ahead of the majority of the world.

Small reminders. Small life. Make your time worth it! 😇

Success

Five superpowers to never feel bad again

Superpowers:

  1. Ability to never drift away when the world tries to.
  2. Trying to listen to the pains of others and healing them emotionally.
  3. Honesty.
  4. Ability to say no.
  5. Ability to say yes to what’s right

Bonus: Ability to discern between 4 and 5 🙂