We have different levels of love.
And different levels of hate.
That is what causes differences in the way we feel.
Basically arising out of inability to communicate properly.
Let them know. Or yourself.
Tag: change
One, is of course, losing the weight – emotional and physical.
Two, is to remember you are the light.
Three, quite relevant, is to politely decline. Nothing, absolutely nothing would give you as much energy as not doing what you know you shouldn’t be doing.
Do you feel hurt by people?
You did good to them however they didn’t respond?
What if they didn’t hurt you?
What if they hurt your idea of how you should be treated?
No one, absolutely no one owes you anything. If they’re good, you’re lucky. If they aren’t good, you get stronger.
I see a lot of parents of my generation who still teach their kids what to do and what not to do.
That’s the saddest thing to happen.
Because we are creating another version of ourselves.
And we won’t be doing it in the first place if we were proud of what we have become.
Our parents’ generation did not have as many privileges as we have.
Not using the privileges that we have, is probably worse than not having privileges.
Today an Amazon packet was to be delivered. The boy reached on the ground floor, and called.
Since I didn’t receive, I immediately called back, however was unreachable.
So I went to the balcony of our first floor home, and saw him.
He asked for my name first. I responded. Then he asked for his number that flashed on to my screen. Then he even asked for my number that was there on the package. For no reasons, no one has ever done that.
A part of me wanted to get angry at him. However, I told myself: “He must also be in pain for going out and meeting so many people in these conditions. More so, maybe he had lost a valuable packet in the past for not doing due diligence.”
This suddenly stopped me from getting angry. And gave me perspective.
We choose our emotions. And then, those emotions choose us.
If you choose to show your authentic self, it is amazing how many people would offer themselves to help you.
Society has taught us to show only goodness and beauty, and that is what brings respect from others.
The real thing, if surfaced to the top, would bring in reality from everyone else as well.
Collectively, we will take things forward, by showing where we lag.
Otherwise, false impressions will create false realities, which will serve no true purpose.
Back in my school days, rather for the entire time of my formal education, I was a top scoring student.
Off late, when exams were dismissed by education boards in India, it still came as a pleasant respite to me.
Someone in my family, who passed their exams 20+ years back, wasn’t though.
When I told them I was quite happy with it, they were rather upset.
“How could YOU be happy?”
“What would happen to students like you, whose life depended on school marks?”
“Won’t it be unfair for students like you?”
Though I could sense they were not in a position to understand, it made me think:
- How many of real world skills are dependent on the numbers you got?
- Yes, your marks gave you a kick-start at the beginning of your career, however, did they decide your entire future? Never.
- We all have countless examples of back-benchers who went out to do amazing things in life, then why do we still place so much importance on formal education?
Of course, formal education is important. However the pressure we put on it to take us to the other end is unbelievable.
What really matters beyond formal education, is:
- Real world education: To observe. Reflect. Let your life be the teacher.
- Entrepreneurship: It doesn’t just mean starting up. It also means having the mindset of getting things done with trust for them.
- Letting go: So so important. The basis of life is letting go, after being and doing your best. Everything that you see with your eyes, is going to vanish. What will stay, is how you actually lived in between your two ears, during this time.
Closing statement: Formal education isn’t dead yet. However, the authority it had to dominate our lives never existed. You get to decide how your life will be, not your formal education.
When you know who you are, you will always be undefeated.
When you know each of your thoughts have a spiral effect, you will always be undefeated.
When you know everything you want is waiting for you, you just need to be the recipient to receive it, you shall be undefeated.
We create a heaven and a hell in ourselves. Not because of what we do, rather because of what we allow ourselves to think about.
Think about.
Think about it.
We have witnessed real life examples of nepotism…at least for Bollywood.
While I reality, nepotism exists everywhere.
You may do all the good work however the boss has someone else as their favourite.
So be it even if you go volunteer for a good cause.
We all are lying on different spectrums of that.
The goal, then, is not to cringe about it.
The goal is to decide what you’re going to do despite it.
If you’re alone and you don’t like it, somewhere you have done something to deserve it.
If you’re alone and you do like it, somewhere you have done something to deserve it.
What if there is no one who loves me?
This is a scary question.
However the answer is a simple one.
No one actually loves you.
If you feel love is coming to you from someone, it’s because they are so full of love that they radiate it.
If you feel you are loved, that’s because you believe yourself to be worthy of love.
Love – is never to be experienced from others.
You can just fill yourself with so much love that you are radiating and receiving it all the time.
That is your true nature.
It removes all doubts of not being loved.
The question is, what will you do to get back to you?
No prescriptions, just the truth that you deserve needs to be the answer.
It makes it very clear that love is what you are made up of.
Someone in my circle, is going through a tough time in their life.
They have been going through a lot of tough decisions that they want to take.
Last couple of days, we got to spend some time together.
I spoke with them on some days, and they were okay the next day.
Today they’re back to square one, wishing and wanting the world to change.
Here’s the secret about the world: It will change the moment we change.
In order for us to change, it will:
a. initially require focussed effort
b. an effort to leave your bad habits
c. the belief that in order to change your life, you need to change your life.
The dependency on people is short lived. You get to spend your entire life with yourself. What you choose to do when no one is watching, is what you get to become when everyone is watching.
Meditation is not just to “feel good”.
When we practice a dedicated practice of meditation, we hardly face issues managing our time and focus.
It’s not just for monks in the Himalayas. Fully effective for corporate ninjas like you and I.
Here’s the best thing meditation has done for me:
The ability to complete a two-hour task in 20-30 minutes. As exaggerating as it may sound, if you have practiced meditation consistently, you know this is as true as water.
You need more time, right?
It is a strange world, of course.
And in this whole process of being open and sharing your thoughts with others, are we really safe and secure there?
Most people today are carrying an emotional load.
And if we choose to share ourselves with them, the advice that is going to come isn’t necessarily going to be useful, rather the opposite.
So how do we be open in the first place?
Simple. Communicate everything to God. I personally write a letter to God every single night before going to bed, and the way he helps is miraculous.
As weird as it may sound, it is the reason that strong people persist and are able to be the lighthouse.
Will you, starting today?
PS: No one will see it, you’ll be happy!
When people are in the whirlwind of their emotions, when they have given everything and still believe we deserve more, people lose their control over self, and start blaming others.
What they need right now, is not a closure.
What they need is a walk.
And we need walks all the time. To think twice before hitting send. It would save us a lifetime of regret.
When you look at your work a month ago and laugh at it, you know you’re growing.
Bonus Point: Also, when you look at another piece of work from a month ago and feel proud seeing it, you know you’re creating epic work.
If you look at your day, you’ll find several things to make the radical shift.
And to look at all of them might sound demeaning.
So here’s the way to change your life:
Change just one thing in your day that causes you most pain.
Just one. Not three. Not five. Just one.
Maybe you check your phone just for ten minutes in the morning and it may get your schedule haywire.
Maybe you have your dinner quite late.
Maybe you get distracted easily in your environment.
What is it that causes you the most pain?
Tackling just one thing will lead to domino effect of life altering habits.
Decide now.
1. Never take a decision with a bad mood. See after two weeks of right mood if that was the right decision.
2. Replacing Instagram with Medium is the best emotional investment ever.
3. Paying your bills on time is a reflection of how eased out your life is.
4. Having to tap dance at work is the goal you have signed up for.
5. There is incredible upside in being honest. Never give up on being that.
Some of the life lessons that have been helping me tremendously these days. Hope they will do the same to you.
Everything you want to control you won’t be…
…unless you control yourself.
You will feel whole.
You will feel better.
You will feel you belong.
You will feel you matter.
And you do.
The problem is not you feeling bad or empty. The problem is you not acknowledging it. When you do, you immediately take the dagger from the emptiness to yourself. And then you begin.