The manufactured definition of love

Love. Such a beautiful word.
We are born with it. We are not taught how to love. It is our real nature. We come along with it.

We smile at our family and strangers alike.
We talk to anyone and everyone irrespective of their colour or race.
We trust people for who they are.
We forgive quickly.
We are just real, with no judgements, no gossip, and definitely no need to control anyone.

This is who we are when we were born – real and untainted.

Then a terrible thing happened.
We realised the world does not function this way. The world is sadly living in a manufactured definition of love. 

Where we will be loved when we recite a poetry in front of our relatives.
Where we will be loved when we get certain percentage in schools and colleges.
Where we will be loved when we pursue a life choice that isn’t ours but of people who “love” us.
Where we will be loved when we agree to making “love” with a partner otherwise they will question our character.
Where we will be loved by our “friends” if and only if we gossip with them about other friends.

And if we do none of these and walk our own talk, we will not be loved.

Be like him.
Talk like her.
Look at what he has accomplished.

Words and people that were meant to make us rise, end up diminishing our self confidence infinitely. 

And then we wonder why don’t we feel the love we used to feel as a kid.

At this point, each one of us has two choices:

  1.  Fall for this manufactured definition of love, follow the norms others have laid down for you, and be someone who again gives manufactured love. But wait, you will have everyone there with you, to “love” you. Other than you.
  2. Be who you are, being respectful of others yet doing what you feel is right. Own your life, and take the steps that you want to take. It will be easier. But guess what? You will almost always be alone on this journey.

Most of us fall for the first one. Not because we cannot hear our inner voice. But because the external voices of manufactured love will stop coming to us if we love ourselves. And that’s scary.

Very few of us, very very few of us, who take the plunge to love ourselves, live a life of real luxury. There are roadblocks and hurdles at the start, but when you overcome them (and you always do), what comes out is You. Real You. Who is love. Not manufactured. Rather real love. And then solving all problems becomes a skill that gets compounded and works in your favour 🙂

Every single day, we have two choices – be the Real Love or fall for Manufactured Love. It is not a one-time choice. It is a daily choice.

The choices that we make daily, will determine how much real love we become.
And give to the people looking at us to show them how the world works.

Does love die?

Love is like a plant, it is supposed to blossom.

In the initial years, it requires a lot of care to grow. If we are careful about that for at least a decade, it will automatically nurture itself later. Then it would become the strong tree, that gives shade and does not require much of nurturing.

But if we don’t nurture it in the start, it does wither. And slowly goes away.

Coming to the question: Does love die? Of course it does. When we don’t nurture the first few years with care and trust, be it in any relationship, nothing is left. If it is a relationship we cannot run away from, such as family, we learn to accept them – but there is hardly any connection. If there is a relationship that we can go away from – a partner, friend, business relationship – the best we could do for them is bless them!

Love, btw, begins with yourself. But that’s for another day.

Creativity and infidelity

Creativity is a weird companion.

Exactly 24 hours back, I was bursting with ideas to write blogs on.

Right now, I don’t know what to write.

Seems like creativity has been infidel to me and left me. Except that isn’t. Because creativity is a process. If you show up, it always does.

If you are reading this blog post till here, you know that creativity has kept up. Because I kept my promise of writing this post.

Creativity is always loyal. If we are.

Weekend lessons

Some quick lessons I learnt this week:

  1. Change is the only law of life. Don’t go by what someone said a month or six months ago. If they are positive, they’ll encourage you evolving. If they aren’t, then you don’t need to bother 🙂
  2. You will be judged, even when you have your finest intentions. The best thing you could do is still have those finest intentions because that is who you are!
  3. Being the bigger person and not taking credit for that is superpower!
  4. Just because everyone else in the team is submitting work late, don’t lower your standards and be the latecomer. Always be a day in advance. Your brand is built by what you do every day.
  5. Everyone is trying their best. Just because their best doesn’t match with your standards of worst, they need support. Not internal trolling from you.
  6. Twitter is the best way to improvise on your writing.
  7. Spending less time on WhatsApp and Instagram is the secret sauce to eternal happiness.
  8. Evening walks in the sun are therapeutic.
  9. People want the best for you, trust them! If they don’t, trust yourself!
  10. People will behave kiddish. Most don’t want to see that. So smile at them for who they are. And move on.
  11. Most of the times what we are crying for is NOT even happening! The best way to solve problems is through communication.
  12. Learning is the licence to happiness.
  13. You matter!

I have finally arrived 😂

I have been creating content for more than five years now.

It was only yesterday that I realised that I have finally arrived. I wrote a post on LinkedIn that said:

“Changing WhatsApp DPs often is a sign of an unstable mind.”

Lo and behold, what trolling comments I got yesterday! My first troll series 🙂

And the best part is, there were bigger number of likes for that post. That is the nature of goodness. It is always in bigger numbers, just that it doesn’t need any evidence to back itself off.

On that note, if you don’t feel offended, let me ask you: How often do you change your WhatsApp DPS?

The search bar

The search bar is good. It helps us find what we are looking for.

Except when its disastrous. Like in case of Instagram.

If you are someone who sees their time go by, simply track how much of your time was spent navigating the search bar on Instagram.

Don’t say it was for entertainment. The real entertainment is in getting bored. If you are getting to a place of getting bored and not going to the Instagram search bar, you are going to the search bar of your life.

That’s cracking the best code ever!

Our old home

Today in the evening as I was riding on the Activa towards the park, I passed through our old home.

Just like every other day.

However, we had sold off our home in March 2020. So it wasn’t officially ours now.

Today was special, though.

A crane was demolishing the entire structure.
It was bought by our grandparents at the time of partition.
My uncles left their respective parts in 2000.
We left in 2015.
Sold in 2020.

73 years, in five lines. This is how quick life is.

Think of life this way: The girl who lives in an 8,000 sqft home with Anushka and Virat in Worli, Mumbai may have come from slums or may have come from a kingdom in her past birth.

But we all have to leave our homes. Sometimes being alive, always after death.

Nothing to feel sad or empty about, we all are there for each other – isn’t that epic?

The only home is the home humans take less time to think about 🙂

Anyway, here’s some pics from our old home.

Nothing awesome, just a few bundles of memories. Enjoy!

That’s it folks!

I went deep down the memory lane. Without a tear. Just a beautiful smile, to show that life is too small. Enjoy it while it lasts 🙂

Everything will be alright

The days I workout the best, meditate the best, am working as per schedule, eating less, walking more are the days when there are challenges.

On the days things are going okay, life also gets average.

So don’t pray for more “settled” or okay days.

Wish for more strength and you will see yourself impersonating calm in every situation of life.

Try to karke dekho 🙂

LOLs by Nishtha – 21 Jan

LOL technically means Laugh Out Loud.

However, I use it as lessons of life.

So this is how we will use them whenever I want to share life lessons

  1. Protect your days. That is all you have.
  2. There is no “urgent” mail. Trust yourself.
  3. Keep your good word.
  4. Keep your good word to yourself.
  5. Read point 4 and 5 again.

That’s all.

Wish you a great time, wherever you are 🙂