Tag: acceptance

People, Success

Lessons from 66 year old father

Yesterday my father turned 66. While his life has innumerable lessons, here are some that inspire me today:

1. Picked up exercise during lockdown. Still continues it for an hour daily.

2. Loves to go to his work daily. A trait missing in a lot of millennials.

3. Is always there to listen to my problems, without judgement. Ever.

4. Will give up anything but never honesty. That, in turn, brings him tons of blessings.

5. Most importantly, understands the space I am in. Thus, never forces me or even brings up the topic of marriage. Being a boomer and raised by parents who witnessed WW2 and partition of the country, this mindset shift from him is the best gift he could give to me.

Here’s a closing note: Him and I have different points of view on almost everything. Yet, you will miss your father when he is gone. Love him despite the differences. No one would love you like him, and this comes from someone who is the biggest rebel to her father. 🤗

Thoughts

When did it actually happen?

When did it actually happen?

When did I move from giving love to needing it?

When did I move from giving tonnes of acceptance to needing it?

When did I move from cheerful, super happy and full of charm kid to crying whole day?

Never have I ever waited like this. Waiting for this time to go away. Don’t know when. I have written positivity and power for eternity. Then why so much truth? Why am I documenting my rock bottom? Why?

I have no idea. Other than the fact that I want it all out of my system.

And also one more reason: The ones suffering from mental health problems are already strong. They have to muster the strength to get back up. So don’t think they need any help. They spread awareness on it so that more people could become empathetic towards each other and more cases of depression stop from coming. That is the only reason.

Knowing Yourself, Life, People

We need more people who understand us.

We need more people to respect us.

We need people who could see how hard we are working.

Amidst all of that, have we taken time to acknowledge our own journey?

And have we dug deep and acknowledged someone else?

If the answer to both these is yes, do we then really need someone to appreciate us?

Work & Business

The equation with boss

Boss.

The moment one uses this word, it comes across as someone who is dominating, trying to pull you down, and thinks nothing in your interest, only in the interest of getting work done.

While I have worked with several bosses over the past years, I understand getting a good one is merely a chance of luck. Otherwise we are all doomed.

When you have a good one, there may be times when you may still want to change parts of their personality.

Of course, you may be considering job switch or client switch (because the client is also a boss) or making any other move, there is something you can always change, which is: becoming more elevated in your state of mind.

This may sound like the most obvious answer. 

Feeling bad and rejected because of boss? Make a more elevated state of mind.

Feeling resentful towards them? Create a more elevated state of mind.

Want to do gossip about them? Create a more elevated state of mind.

You may actually not want to do that in all these situations, and just go and deflate their car tyre as an easy option.

However, here’s the harsh reality friends: Unless you change your own attitude (no matter how good it is right now – remember, elevation 😇), you won’t have the power to change your attitude towards someone else.

By all means keep looking for a new job if this one doesn’t feel right for you. 

However, in the midst, in the process of finding out a new one, is it really worth your time to spend emotional and mental energy on someone who probably doesn’t care? Perhaps they are going through a bigger life problem that you aren’t aware – and their behavior is simply a reflection of that problem. Maybe their kid is not as bright as you and that’s why they want to pull you down.

Perhaps none of these reasons exist and still they aren’t humanly nice to you. Everyone is fighting a battle we don’t know – not even about our immediate family.

To make the change outside, starting within is perhaps the first step. And the last one. And all the steps in the middle. Everything else will be taken care of.

No, no one would change because of that. But you won’t be losing yourself in the process of coping up or finding a new boss. That’s when, you become your own boss.

Life, Meditation

The best way to feel light

One, is of course, losing the weight – emotional and physical.

Two, is to remember you are the light.

Three, quite relevant, is to politely decline. Nothing, absolutely nothing would give you as much energy as not doing what you know you shouldn’t be doing.

Truth be told

The truth about handling pressure

If there is pressure in your life, and you are worried about it, here is the healer:

This is how life should be.

This ain’t compromise, this ain’t adjusting on life, this is the truth.

And truth shall set you free. If you learn how to live with the truth, instead of letting it kill you.

Truth be told

When you don’t know

When you don’t know, you still know.

It’s just a question of going deep within.

Let’s say you don’t know what to do when a friend does not respond to an important message of yours.

When you say: “I don’t know,” it is rather you deciding to overlook the option of staying calm mentally as well as physically.

The journey is never of the answer. The journey is of acceptance. You know it. When you do, how are you going to handle it? Most of us don’t know how to handle ourselves. Learning that, is the goal.

Success

Success costs?

Do you feel intimidated by more successful people?

It’s good to, as long as that is where you want to be.

It’s not good, if you’re taking that from relatives who don’t know where they are going.

Choices we get to make.

Life

How to find that balance

Today I was supposed to meet some deadlines.

Then my niece came over, and she came specially to play with me.

So I had two choices – to scold her to come uninformed, or to play with her.

I did the latter.

Because you know what?

I have always stood by doing great work. So now I had a great bandwidth to delay.

It’s all about finding that balance. Do epic work to such a large extent, that when you don’t, it doesn’t make any difference:

People

Trust and Betrayal

There’s a very close relationship of mine, where I do not feel the need to be around them anymore. We’ve been very well connected, to the extent that when I used to cry alone miles away, she used to have an intuition that something is wrong with me.

Then today, I had a conversation with a mutual friend, who said she has been pushing him to convince me to take a major life step, which I do not want to take.

Then it really hit me to connect the dots. Just because this person does not respect my life choices at an inner level, I had been consistently losing this feeling of being around them.

That is such a deep thing. Not because I was #betrayed. Okay maybe I was, however a deeper thing was that we always act out basis what is happening there inside.

There are no two sides. The white ultimately becomes light grey shortly which ends up becoming black over a period of time.

Trust is something you build when they’re not watching. Hard to build trust with someone if you don’t trust yourself.

I don’t have anger against them, I only have blessings for them to trust and respect themselves. Because it takes a broken person from inside to disrespect and not give trust to the other person’s choices.

Knowing Yourself, People

Being strict

Strictness does not mean rudeness.

Strictness also does not mean lack of a great bond.

Strictness also does not mean lack of respect.

However when work is to be respected, accountability must arise.

When we let people know the inherent measure of respect, we create a space for them to respect themselves.

Success, Work & Business

If someone screws up their work

If someone screws up their work, chances are they’re already feeling bad.

They came to you to know that it’s going to be okay!

Let them know of that ❤️

Life, People

I don’t like it that way

Staying in silence is good. Thinking others should also do this way, is too much a burden for them.

Working out is good. Not respecting others when they don’t, isn’t.

Liking Sufi music is great. Expecting others to find it melodious isn’t.

Having choices is what makes us human.

Respecting others with their choices makes us a super human.

Not asking them to change because we want them to, is divine.

Uncategorized

The right to win

Let’s say you and a friend happen to make different decisions on a subject.

Further, let’s say that their actions happened to be something that caused you a momentary harm.

You now have all the rights to get angry, upset and also tell them that it’s because of “them” that you are hurt.

Or, there’s another option:

• To understand that they had their best intentions in mind.

• To accept that you have also made mistakes in the past.

• Most importantly, to remember that love is the most powerful emotion. More than being right.

When someone else makes a mistake next time, remember to love, because you are made up of love. Pure love.

Uncategorized

Why are you clicking those pictures?

For the past few days, I’ve had a special disagreement for not clicking pictures.

Yes, it is strange.

Yes, it is weird.

And yes, it’s highly liberating.

The ability to enjoy nature and enjoy it without having the urge to share it out with others, is simply the best way to bring out your own nature.

Giving it a try once, is worth your peace of mind.

Uncategorized

Let’s get candid!

Two of my friends, who are in their fifties, were sharing stories about their respective sons, who happen to be in their early twenties.

One friend, who sends money to his son every month, who is studying in the US, told that one day all of a sudden, his son asked for more money this month.

When asked about whether all was good, the son replied that he had a girlfriend and needed some money.

Few weeks later, when this son was back in India with his parents for a vacation, received a text from this girl. She breaks up, saying we are not right for each other. The son replies in assent, and also tells this to his parents.

The other friend, was telling the story of a day when her son had left strawberries at home before leaving for the day. She was quite worried as a mother as to what would the son do if he were hungry during the day.

Later during the day, the son texted a pic of him eating strawberries, that he had asked his girlfriend to bring along. He was calming her down, with the reassurance that he was being taken care of.

Both these instances left me thinking deeply.

To be candid for the first time in public, I was waiting for “him” to send that message to me that we are breaking off, yet never received one. Nor a call back.

That’s not the worst part. Worst part is, I was at home, with my parents, already suffering and unable to share my grief with them.

Because had I shared it with them, they would have either gotten super angry with me for “being in a relationship” or perhaps they would have told me to “forget him”.

Neither of those would’ve helped.

It was so easy for that son to tell his parents that his girlfriend had broken up. I wish it were equally easy for all of us, we would have had way lesser cases of depression and anxiety.

Love and acceptance is the only solution. Especially when they least deserve it.

Uncategorized

Leave your zone to come into mine

If you want to go out with me, behave like this.

What if, I accept you, where you are, just as you are, without giving up on who I am?

Every relationship, business or life, begins and ends with allowing the other person to just be.

Sadly, most of us expect them to leave their zones and come into ours, just because we feel it’s right.

If it indirectly means that they’re wrong, is telling the other person to be wrong an act of righteousness?

Uncategorized

Is “everything” good?

You and I have come across this several times: Everything that happens is perfect and for the good.

Then, why do people get upset at the outset of things not happening right?

Because they want to control it. They want to have the certainty, unbeknownst of the fact that it’s the uncertainty yet faith in the sun and rain that makes the crops grow.

If you go back to any situation of your past, most certainly you would find yourself contented today, with what happened.

If future can give you the capacity to accept the past, then the present has even more capacity to allow you to accept, that:

Everything will ultimately turn out to be good.

Uncategorized

To gain someone’s attention

Starting with “to get something” is a dangerous place to be, because it makes you vulnerable.

Start with giving relentlessly.

Without the intention of receiving.

Without worrying about whether they’ll give you what you want.

Just with the intention of making their world better.

Why to do that, you may ask.

Because in order to let them decide freely and give it to you, you really need to let them know that you care. Like your parents did, and you’re ready to do anything for them, right?