Raw. Real. Unfiltered. Daily blogs. Often, less than 100 words
Today there’s nothing much to say.
Lost a close Uncle. Had met him two days after Diwali, last month. Little did anyone of us know that this was the last one.
While we were cordial and cool in our last meeting, I do realise that we don’t know which one is going to be our last meeting.
Lesson: Treat every meeting with people like the last one. We never know.
Negative things about getting a positive life
1. Honesty is an expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.
– Warren Buffet
2. When people show you who they are, believe them.
– Maya Angelou
3. The best way to deal with corporate politics is to live by and speak your truth. It will make you undefeatable.
4. People will play games against you. Worry not, for they not know against whom are they playing the real game.
5. Don’t trust your extremely good or bad moods. What happens in the middle – your intuitions, people’s behaviours, what you want to do – that is the real stuff.
Some small reflections about life, that were sadly not as positive, however, very important to inch towards positivity and not being affected by the negativity of others.
As a kid, a neighbourhood uncle used to call me “moti”, which is a Hindi translation for “fat girl”.
Not that I was fat, rather because as I introspect now, that was merely a reflection of his un-developed brain’s immunopsychological response to bringing people down.
People do it all the time:
You don’t appear happy, while in reality, they aren’t.
I can’t love you, because being devoid of love was how I was raised, and changing myself is a mammoth task.
I won’t update my LinkedIn profile and network with people, because struggling to find a job is how I finally get a job, and that struggle keeps me safe.
The blankets we throw at others are virtually the ones we are covering ourselves with.
Which brings me to this neighbourhood Uncle.
So when he used to address me “Moti” as a kid, I used to retaliate. Get angry. Cry. Scream. Literally beg not to call me moti.
Today morning, while returning from my meditation class, that Uncle saw me again. And he called me “moti” thrice. And I moved on, without responding.
Sometimes, what we were years back, we don’t drift from there even a bit.
I’m glad I wasn’t that today morning.
I feel for him that he hasn’t grown a bit in years.
So, my question to you is: “Are you still fat,” where “fat” means the thickness of the brain that makes it almost impossible for new knowledge to percolate?
Or have you lost that weight and become lean, where you allow the new muscles to form and happily let go of the stagnant ones?
“Do you have a passport?”
“I’m so sorry I bought it on Kindle, I don’t have the free download link.”
“Premium economy is a wonderful upgrade from Economy class.”
“You like this jacket? This is from Zara.”
“The beachside hotels in Goa are really lavish!”
Some of the lines I get to hear – because I live a minimalist lifestyle.
Instead of feeling bad about it, I am often amused at how people judge someone for not going out or repeating the same pair of shoes. Which in fact, also, allows me to aware of not to judge people based on how less they have. It may just be a choice.
(PS: On a lighter note, when people of Delhi go to Mumbai, they have to take off this judgement.)
To answer the above quetions:
Yes
I only buy legit books, because being an author myself, I know that a lot of people’s bread and butter is dependent on books.
Yes, thanks for this. I have travelled in Premium Economy. Next time, please boast about Business Class:)
Yes baby, I read “ZARA” written over there. I was being genuinely kind.
Of course, enjoy your Goa. I will enjoy it my way without documenting it:)
Firstly, judging isn’t right, because we never know what they are going through.
Secondly, even if they don’t have what you have, we don’t get big or small by the things we own. This comes from an experience of owning some shiny things. In fact, when we boast about things, they own us.
Thirdly, minimalism is the real richness. Ever tried?
Everyone has a dark side.
I am good to you, but maybe I am not the same way to everyone, where I should be.
Someone is a good boss, but he fires one of his employees after every half a year.
A human being talks about culture, yet fails to maintain it for themselves.
What should we do when do have a dark side?
Here’s what: Think about challenging your beliefs in solitude. It would be hard, but then you would not be hard on others.
It was a delay in delivery of work from one of our delivery partners.
What was supposed to be delivered in two days, was easily and conveniently taking a week.
In the first week itself, they broke several promises.
As a result, I was asked to be stern with them. Which I did.
In the coming week, they again faltered.
This time I became stern without being asked to.
As a result, I was told to be the nice and kind girl, and let the sternness be the game of the seniors.
Which made me think: I let go of my original nature of being kind, it only backfired on me.
I am known for being kind and compassionate, however, I let go of my real original nature (which, in fact, is a good virtue to possess) and that backfired on me.
Lesson learnt: NEVER let go of your goodness, even when the world wants you to.
Have a pattern.
They will be unkind to you 10 times, and kind to you once. So that they can lean into that kindness and make you feel worthless 10 more times.
It happens in so many relationships of all kinds that it isn’t funny.
Here is my advice: Go build yourself. Go surround yourself with right people. Run away from wrong people. Even though they will always make you feel you are wrong, and spineless. Even if they call you names and question your character.
The safest people will always love you like a human being and not like vending machine, even if (especially if) you have made a massive error
All of a sudden, I’ve enjoyed being with my family now.
Now that vaccine is almost there, now that there is a job to look up to, now that I’ll be back to Delhi somewhere by the end of winter, I’ve already started missing my parents.
They’re (not so much) weird for me, and I guess so am I for them.
This moment, is all you have!
As a line from one of my favourite songs goes: “Reh jayengi, yeh nishaaniyaan, rahein naa rahein hum! Aa jee le ek pal mein sau janam!”
Thanksgiving is all about…
• Being grateful to your farmers, because without them, even pizza wasn’t possible.
• Being grateful for the electricity, otherwise how would geyser operate?
• A thousand more things tbh, but today, let’s stop with the fact that we have almost survived 2020 stronger and better.
What else could thanksgiving be about?
If you really work hard and get better, you will get where you want to.
If you keep forgiving people, you will get lighter.
If you keep eating a bit lesser, soon you will get to your desired destination.
If you keep persisting when you are supposed to give up, you will get great rewards instantly over a period of time.
If you be there for yourself, you will be able to be there for others as well. Not vice versa.
It turns out, we already know all the answers. We just need to decide, as Seth Godin says.
You may be the popular kid. Or you may be not.
You may be the boss/teacher’s favourite. Or you may be not.
But there is something that could never be taken from you:
1. Hard work.
2. Beginner’s mindset.
3. Signing up to do the work that you could play politics on and get away with.
4. Taking responsibility.
5. Doing 1-4 even when it is difficult.
It’s not easy. That’s why totally worth it.
Had decided to not work today.
But opened up the laptop and did an hour of writing. Felt like bliss.
Up until last Diwali when I used to have a job I didn’t like, I never opened the laptop for the 5 days of Diwali. Now that isn’t the case, thankfully:)
This is what true love is 💖
Keep looking, and don’t settle.
– Steve Jobs
I sit on the floor to have my meals. And when I get up, I do so without any support. This is my gold standard for health.
As the winter is approaching, my Mom got a velvet mat for me to sit.
And all of a sudden, I just couldn’t stand from that velvet mat. I felt like all of a sudden I had lost my health and stamina. It was uneasy.
And then a bolt hit me. Velvet is smooth and it acts as a friction between the resistance of the floor and my feet.
So the trick was to remove the velvet mat and then get up. Bam!
Sometimes the problem is not with our efforts, rather the medium where we are executing our efforts. Changing that might change everything.
Looking at sunshine.
Looking at moonlight.
The light that you are looking for, is the light that is within.
The question is, do the clouds of the life that hold you back hamper your light, or your sunshine shines irrespective of anything else in the world?
Have you heard Robert Frost’s poem: “Stopping by woods on a snowy evening?”
The last lines of the poem look like:
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep…
A lot of your friends / foes (lol) would be using these lines.
This morning, as I was dealing with a challenge, a place where I particularly get best of my ideas. So, while writing a piece of content, here’s what I came up with:
The woods may not be lovely or dark or deep,
But you still have promises to keep (to yourself)
And nowhere to go (other than within) to have a peaceful sleep.
That’s scary. That’s hard. But standing for yourself is the best thing you could do to yourself, because how will you change the world if your own bones are fractured? How will you?
Last Friday, a founder and CEO of one of the groundbreaking startups in India approached me on LinkedIn. He wanted to speak to me for writing content for them.
When I responded to their DM to know more about the work, his first response was: “Thanks for the response,” and then we talked further.
Who does that in a mean world? Such a kind soul! He could write a social media post and get 100’s of writers in less than an hour, and still responding me with kindness? Wow!
So we spoke further and scheduled a meeting three days hence.
Almost two-and-a-half hours prior to the meeting, he sent me an email informing the meeting had to be inadvertently cancelled due to a family emergency. Not only that, he ensured to DM me on LinkedIn as well.
Of course, I understood and replied with an understanding and affirmative response.
That’s not the point. The point is he did not “need” to inform me before not showing up for a meeting, yet he informed me at two places – that too when it was a family emergency.
So so sooo fortunate to be working with such generous and kind folks. People who value the time and work of others just as theirs and not taking their art for granted are a priceless asset. Always.
Just that I got lucky, because the world doesn’t owe us anything. All the kindness and ease from clients like him is always a blessing to be bestowed upon. If you are one such kind soul reading this, thank you to you too! You rock <3 🙂
Be patient.
It is coming.
It is right there.
Just be patient and let yourself know that all you wanted is already with you.
All you have got to do is remember who you are, and then straighten your crown.
Also, it is very veryyyy easy to get lost in the approval or hate of others. Be neutral and let things happen as you don’t change.
There are different ways and functions of feeling lost.
You could be doing well financially.
You could be doing well in your relationships.
But, the relationship that you have with yourself, that one is a dangerous one.
That is what leads us to feeling lost.
There are differing ways to solve the problem. Start like this: Where is one hour where you could take control of your life?
Start with one hour in twenty four. Small part is chew-able, doable, and relatable.
It will make you more confident, powerful, and one day at a time – less lost. Isn’t that what we all are looking for?
While most of us have already named 2020 as the worst year ever, there are some incredible gifts that 2020 brought with it – something that we could have come into our lives had the pandemic didn’t occur.
Thus, 2020 in all its rights, is the year of these life lessons:
Isn’t it?
1. Trust others. As much as you trust yourself. Even more.
2. Stop proving yourself. Everyone has a perspective filter.
3. Goodness is questioned. Still be good.
4. It will get better. Remember, trust yourself?
5. If no one is misunderstanding you, you aren’t breaking much ceilings.