If you’re making the same mistakes each day, your learning curve isn’t getting sharper.
And that, my friend, calls for reflection and changing the things!
Category: Life
This question is holding far more importance these days than anything else.
Well, yesterday I ended up the day my way. So slept well, and woke up really well.
And will do that daily.
It is just a formula. If you don’t apply it, you lose it. Every moment of life, you are just fighting a silent fight to keep your positivity alive. Today I did. Tomorrow, a little better. And a little more.
We shall overcome. We will overcome.
Yesterday was a day purposefully missed out on blog.
Played badminton with cousins after a really long time. Covid has brought all the memories of having fun with each other back.
Also attended two online classes of two people I admire a lot.
And said no to someone who has no sense of respecting someone else’s (and their own) time. Without letting them know. Felt great. Learnt better tactics.
Honestly I could have done that. But I wanted me time. Sadly, our society values and respects us only when we are “doing something” and not when we are chilling and spending time with family.
That’s sad. And we need to change it. How? A. By taking some me time. B. By not judging others when they take their own.
Society just doesn’t go for a bath and gets cleaner. We do it each day by what we do. And by what we choose not to do.
We need more people who understand us.
We need more people to respect us.
We need people who could see how hard we are working.
Amidst all of that, have we taken time to acknowledge our own journey?
And have we dug deep and acknowledged someone else?
If the answer to both these is yes, do we then really need someone to appreciate us?
One, is of course, losing the weight – emotional and physical.
Two, is to remember you are the light.
Three, quite relevant, is to politely decline. Nothing, absolutely nothing would give you as much energy as not doing what you know you shouldn’t be doing.
Today an Amazon packet was to be delivered. The boy reached on the ground floor, and called.
Since I didn’t receive, I immediately called back, however was unreachable.
So I went to the balcony of our first floor home, and saw him.
He asked for my name first. I responded. Then he asked for his number that flashed on to my screen. Then he even asked for my number that was there on the package. For no reasons, no one has ever done that.
A part of me wanted to get angry at him. However, I told myself: “He must also be in pain for going out and meeting so many people in these conditions. More so, maybe he had lost a valuable packet in the past for not doing due diligence.”
This suddenly stopped me from getting angry. And gave me perspective.
We choose our emotions. And then, those emotions choose us.
Learn, instead of repenting.
If you’re feeling negative because of someone, there are two options:
You can talk to them. Or you can’t.
If you have the relationship to talk to them, please do. It will clear all the mist.
If that relationship is not where you can talk, does it make sense to lose your sleep over? Perhaps the person needed to be talked to, is you.
Today I was supposed to meet some deadlines.
Then my niece came over, and she came specially to play with me.
So I had two choices – to scold her to come uninformed, or to play with her.
I did the latter.
Because you know what?
I have always stood by doing great work. So now I had a great bandwidth to delay.
It’s all about finding that balance. Do epic work to such a large extent, that when you don’t, it doesn’t make any difference:
We have witnessed real life examples of nepotism…at least for Bollywood.
While I reality, nepotism exists everywhere.
You may do all the good work however the boss has someone else as their favourite.
So be it even if you go volunteer for a good cause.
We all are lying on different spectrums of that.
The goal, then, is not to cringe about it.
The goal is to decide what you’re going to do despite it.
Part I: Giving Help
If you want to help someone else, make sure you’ve helped yourself.
If you think you are still doing them a favour, you are not.
People love to know they’re loved, only if they could feel you loving yourself.
Part II: Asking for Help
If you are asking for someone else’s help out of their obligation to do it for you and out of their inability to not do it willingly, probably you need to rethink your choices.
Conclusion:
The only way to have everything aligned on the outside is to align yourself from within. Nothing changes before that.
Today I turned 29.
Damn! The number is so big! Yet why do I feel so young?
Or in other words, how did I get so lucky to be feeling so amazing while the world is conditioned to making us think that we should start with “settling”?
The answer is that I got insanely lucky to make some wonderful decisions. To choose to get out of company of people like whom I didn’t want to become, and to choose the company of rebels, oddballs and misfits — with a strange combination of my core values guard me daily.
However, the last one year had been a strange (and a blessed) one, with loads of mistakes and loads of learning coming along — which I have made an effort to summarize in 29 points below:
- The best way to get what you want is to be in the company of people who are doing what you want to do. (If not in person, definitely in their social media accounts and books.)
PS: It’s okay to not have a 5-year plan. To have a 3 or 6-month plan is equally fine. (“Do you know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all!” — Parasite, 2019) - One of the best arts you will learn is the art of mastering cold emails. Sometimes not even with the purpose of cracking a sale, rather just to form a connection. (Why? See point 1)
- I used to eat cheese between my breakfast and lunch as a mid-meal; however a friend copied that habit to eat it as a dessert after dinner! Incorrect timing is the shortcut to failing.
- The world really needs to catch up. Being positioned in a warehouse for work, I realized there was no washroom for women, let alone a dustbin to dispose sanitary napkin. No changes have been made there even after writing it to management. The only question we need to ask is: “Would we still be the same if our sister / daughter were projected to same situations?”
- Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. The best way to love others is to love yourself.
6. Kindness is superpower. Especially when it’s difficult to display it.
7. Gossiping will do more harm than goodness could do peace.
8. Working out with a personal trainer is game changing — in terms of your discipline, diet, follow-up, and of course how you look and feel within.
9. If you decide to walk at least 10,000 steps a day, you will!
10. Meditation is not a trick only for monks in the Himalayas. It is rather the only vaccination against depression.
11. A small hack for those on diet and travelling: Plain rice with curd and papad is a perfect meal. Saves from oily food of restaurants and provides all micro and macro nutrients.
12. In my former job, we went from our respective cities to the HO. In an evening, we went for a get-together to a Chinese restaurant; however I do not consume onion and garlic. So, we finally went to an Indian restaurant where I ordered khichdi, while others continued with having other oily food. Lesson: it’s okay to stand by your dharma in a matter of crisis. The only thing you will get is immense support.
13. When you’re misunderstood, you need to humbly stand for yourself.
14. Law of attraction works like magic. With a caveat — only if you’ve done the hard work. If I have never jumped into a pool and I wish to win a gold medal in Olympics next month, the only thing I deserve is a headache.
15. Not judging your family is the biggest gift to them. They are fighting a tough battle which we aren’t aware of.
16. Sleeping and waking up on time (and no screen time for 1 hour prior and after) will solve almost all your problems.
17. You’re becoming successful when outer success is coupled with smaller and lesser need to seek validation from others.
18. The intuition you have about people is stronger (and always truthful) than the image they’re trying to project. To rephrase, “Empathy cannot be taught. You’re either born with it or you aren’t.” — Ankur Warikoo
19. Like almost all other families, mine is also a dysfunctional one. Yet, their presence is the biggest therapy.
20. It’s okay to have a few or no friends than to have many who laugh at your progress.
21. I live a healthy lifestyle however I was hospitalized twice in last two years. Lying on that hospital bed, I realized this is simply my life shouting out loud to make a change.
22. Patience majnu, patience!
23. Consistent content creation will make you survive when everything else won’t. Even when you’re applying for a position with no qualification, experience of your content will take you to places.
24. Taking time to witness the sunrise is the best way to protect your (in)sanity.
25. In the last year I have been denied chances and been (almost) cursed by people who used to “treat me as their daughter” just because I followed an unconventional path being a female. However, I have also got respect and great work because of the same reason. External or internal validation. We get to choose either every single day.
26. No. No. Absolutely no. With kindness, bro!
27. People do what they know is the best. In 90% cases they aren’t intentional about it.
28. The world inside you needs to get out — through writing, creating videos, making drawings, dancing, singing — anything! It will keep you sane and the world will silently learn from your example.
29. The journey of going within will always settle things on the outside. Always.
That’s it, folks! 29 years, 29 lessons, loads of love from family — such an amazing time to be alive in!
Even if a single word made sense to you, I’ve done my job well! We are, after all, the stories we tell ourselves. Keep rocking folks, and I’ll see you tomorrow!
What if there is no one who loves me?
This is a scary question.
However the answer is a simple one.
No one actually loves you.
If you feel love is coming to you from someone, it’s because they are so full of love that they radiate it.
If you feel you are loved, that’s because you believe yourself to be worthy of love.
Love – is never to be experienced from others.
You can just fill yourself with so much love that you are radiating and receiving it all the time.
That is your true nature.
It removes all doubts of not being loved.
The question is, what will you do to get back to you?
No prescriptions, just the truth that you deserve needs to be the answer.
It makes it very clear that love is what you are made up of.
Someone in my circle, is going through a tough time in their life.
They have been going through a lot of tough decisions that they want to take.
Last couple of days, we got to spend some time together.
I spoke with them on some days, and they were okay the next day.
Today they’re back to square one, wishing and wanting the world to change.
Here’s the secret about the world: It will change the moment we change.
In order for us to change, it will:
a. initially require focussed effort
b. an effort to leave your bad habits
c. the belief that in order to change your life, you need to change your life.
The dependency on people is short lived. You get to spend your entire life with yourself. What you choose to do when no one is watching, is what you get to become when everyone is watching.
It’s all going to be okay. You matter.
Goodbyes are the most beautiful things on the planet.
When we know we have to say a goodbye, all of a sudden we tend to forget what pain they caused us.
We suddenly feel regret on the pains we know we caused to them.
Why does it happen in the first place?
It happens, because we humans tend to live life on the pedestals of tomorrow.
Will make that call tomorrow.
Will call my sister tomorrow.
Will pay the credit card bill tomorrow.
The way we love tomorrow, if we loved our today the same way – no goodbye would be so painful.
Here’s a parting question: Where in your life would we feel bad, if we didn’t get a chance to say a goodbye?
If you look at your day, you’ll find several things to make the radical shift.
And to look at all of them might sound demeaning.
So here’s the way to change your life:
Change just one thing in your day that causes you most pain.
Just one. Not three. Not five. Just one.
Maybe you check your phone just for ten minutes in the morning and it may get your schedule haywire.
Maybe you have your dinner quite late.
Maybe you get distracted easily in your environment.
What is it that causes you the most pain?
Tackling just one thing will lead to domino effect of life altering habits.
Decide now.
1. Never take a decision with a bad mood. See after two weeks of right mood if that was the right decision.
2. Replacing Instagram with Medium is the best emotional investment ever.
3. Paying your bills on time is a reflection of how eased out your life is.
4. Having to tap dance at work is the goal you have signed up for.
5. There is incredible upside in being honest. Never give up on being that.
Some of the life lessons that have been helping me tremendously these days. Hope they will do the same to you.
The light is always there.
Beyond the clouds when the flight takes off.
After the dawn.
Inside a book.
Everywhere there is the light.
We just need to let it know that it is important. It is needed. It is powerful.
One of the best learnings that covid brought to us is not to put all your eggs in one basket.
Warren Buffet has been saying it for years.
Not only for finances, also for our emotions and sources of income.
More than anything else, we have learnt never to depend on external validation (malls, restaurants, movies,etc.) for making us feel.
Will they support you is not the right question.
The right question is, will you support yourself?