1. What if you didn’t check social media for the next 5 hours?
2. What if you read for the next 10 minutes?
3. How many people would be happier if you were just happier and more human?
Tag: understand
More I have stacked having lesser work that is more valuable and comes with bigger responsibilities, the more I’ve to started realise that having more times precious.
Which means:
– “urgent work” is not important
– having a schedule is the way to get important things done.
– No is the biggest superpower.
It turns out, whatever we were taught in school – staying busy, working more, and saying yes in order to be liked – lose their power as we gain more wisdom.
Have you tried drinking plain cold milk? Without sugar or chocolate?
If yes, you know it has a calming effect.
Alternatively, if we drink warm milk without sugar, it is kind of weird. We need to add sugar to make it a bit better.
That is how life is. When we are chilled out, we are sweet naturally. When we are hot or angry, we have to make efforts to get sweetness.
We decide, which milk to be.
I sit on the floor to have my meals. And when I get up, I do so without any support. This is my gold standard for health.
As the winter is approaching, my Mom got a velvet mat for me to sit.
And all of a sudden, I just couldn’t stand from that velvet mat. I felt like all of a sudden I had lost my health and stamina. It was uneasy.
And then a bolt hit me. Velvet is smooth and it acts as a friction between the resistance of the floor and my feet.
So the trick was to remove the velvet mat and then get up. Bam!
Sometimes the problem is not with our efforts, rather the medium where we are executing our efforts. Changing that might change everything.
Nothing will go right in our lives unless,
a. We start appreciating what we have right now.
b. We understand that our positivity has the power to change people.
c. We believe that when people show us who they are, we need to believe them as Maya Angelou said.
1. Staying by your values is hard. Yet devaluation of yourself is a murder.
2. You are who you are when no one is watching.
3. Doing nothing is important. And sometimes disastrous. It’s about figuring it out.
4. Helping without the ultimate intent is the real measure of kindness.
5. You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is a habit. – Aristotle
When you don’t like someone, going about not liking them forever is a tough job.
What if you asked yourself instead: “Why do I not like them?”
It may be possible that their values aren’t aligned with yours.
It may also be possible that they just don’t know better.
And when you make time to think deep with yourself, you’ll be able to make an informed choice, not the one that is out of rage and impulse.
You get the life basis the people you allow. The first person to allow is you, not the byproduct of someone else’s actions.
We become big
on the day
we refuse to feel small
on small acts of people
who don’t know
they are acting small.
They perhaps know this much only.
And thus, are acting this way.
But if you become like them
in the process of teaching them a lesson,
you have lost the biggest lesson of your own life:
“To not to be like the ones who try to pull you down.”
Because in reality, they aren’t trying to.
They just know this much.
They just know this much.
Perhaps you also need to alter your perspective.
You reflected on something that you wanted to change.
And you decided to change.
The question is: Till when?
Not only for one day or two. What are you doing to make change stick?
Before forming one more new habit and failing at all of them and calling yourself a failure, create a plan for sticking to just one habit.
And then the next. Drop by drop. Dip by dip.
This lockdown came along with gyms locked down.
Till March, I had reached a great weight resistance. Then began the workout at home.
Today I brought in weights from my old home, and lo, the resistance which I could carry initially wasn’t there. The reason, obviously, was lack of practice with weights.
In life, the more we continue to live with goodness, the more resilience we develop against what’s isn’t right – without losing on who we are.
If we remain where we are without increasing that quota of goodness, over time, we’ll lose it.
Over time, we will lose ourselves.
Yesterday my father turned 66. While his life has innumerable lessons, here are some that inspire me today:
1. Picked up exercise during lockdown. Still continues it for an hour daily.
2. Loves to go to his work daily. A trait missing in a lot of millennials.
3. Is always there to listen to my problems, without judgement. Ever.
4. Will give up anything but never honesty. That, in turn, brings him tons of blessings.
5. Most importantly, understands the space I am in. Thus, never forces me or even brings up the topic of marriage. Being a boomer and raised by parents who witnessed WW2 and partition of the country, this mindset shift from him is the best gift he could give to me.
Here’s a closing note: Him and I have different points of view on almost everything. Yet, you will miss your father when he is gone. Love him despite the differences. No one would love you like him, and this comes from someone who is the biggest rebel to her father. 🤗
When did it actually happen?
When did I move from giving love to needing it?
When did I move from giving tonnes of acceptance to needing it?
When did I move from cheerful, super happy and full of charm kid to crying whole day?
Never have I ever waited like this. Waiting for this time to go away. Don’t know when. I have written positivity and power for eternity. Then why so much truth? Why am I documenting my rock bottom? Why?
I have no idea. Other than the fact that I want it all out of my system.
And also one more reason: The ones suffering from mental health problems are already strong. They have to muster the strength to get back up. So don’t think they need any help. They spread awareness on it so that more people could become empathetic towards each other and more cases of depression stop from coming. That is the only reason.
We need more people who understand us.
We need more people to respect us.
We need people who could see how hard we are working.
Amidst all of that, have we taken time to acknowledge our own journey?
And have we dug deep and acknowledged someone else?
If the answer to both these is yes, do we then really need someone to appreciate us?
One, is of course, losing the weight – emotional and physical.
Two, is to remember you are the light.
Three, quite relevant, is to politely decline. Nothing, absolutely nothing would give you as much energy as not doing what you know you shouldn’t be doing.
Forming relationships is beyond connecting with people from LinkedIn to WhatsApp.
Forming relationships is just being the genuine human being that you are, without ulterior motive of collaborations.
When you do so, just because you want to give, what you’ll receive will come to you manifold.
Just because we are humans, we will thrive in accordance with living with other humans.
This would, in itself, make the process difficult because all humans are different.
However, if you learn to be easy, things are going to change – because you cared for the common good, you cared to make the other person feel good, and also you didn’t care to follow the angry zone of the world and marched to your own beat of ease and peace.
Today I was supposed to meet some deadlines.
Then my niece came over, and she came specially to play with me.
So I had two choices – to scold her to come uninformed, or to play with her.
I did the latter.
Because you know what?
I have always stood by doing great work. So now I had a great bandwidth to delay.
It’s all about finding that balance. Do epic work to such a large extent, that when you don’t, it doesn’t make any difference:
When people are in the whirlwind of their emotions, when they have given everything and still believe we deserve more, people lose their control over self, and start blaming others.
What they need right now, is not a closure.
What they need is a walk.
And we need walks all the time. To think twice before hitting send. It would save us a lifetime of regret.
There’s a very close relationship of mine, where I do not feel the need to be around them anymore. We’ve been very well connected, to the extent that when I used to cry alone miles away, she used to have an intuition that something is wrong with me.
Then today, I had a conversation with a mutual friend, who said she has been pushing him to convince me to take a major life step, which I do not want to take.
Then it really hit me to connect the dots. Just because this person does not respect my life choices at an inner level, I had been consistently losing this feeling of being around them.
That is such a deep thing. Not because I was #betrayed. Okay maybe I was, however a deeper thing was that we always act out basis what is happening there inside.
There are no two sides. The white ultimately becomes light grey shortly which ends up becoming black over a period of time.
Trust is something you build when they’re not watching. Hard to build trust with someone if you don’t trust yourself.
I don’t have anger against them, I only have blessings for them to trust and respect themselves. Because it takes a broken person from inside to disrespect and not give trust to the other person’s choices.
It is a disease not restricted to a few people.
Rather, there are very few people who don’t suffer from this.
Well, what to do if you want to be one of those few people?
a. Being kind even when you have the right to be unkind is an unprecedented advantage.
b. Replacing “you’re an idiot” with “I think there is a miscommunication” lets the other person know that they’re not unwanted.
c. More than anything else, when we move around the world with the backstory that we are the hero and our role is to make others rise, instead of being the villain who wants everyone to fall down.
Split personality disorder is real and more rampant than we ever thought. What we need is a decision to have a personality we would be proud of.
And to live to that personality when things inevitably don’t go vanilla.