Raw. Real. Unfiltered. Daily blogs. Often, less than 100 words
When people are in the whirlwind of their emotions, when they have given everything and still believe we deserve more, people lose their control over self, and start blaming others.
What they need right now, is not a closure.
What they need is a walk.
And we need walks all the time. To think twice before hitting send. It would save us a lifetime of regret.
It’s all going to be okay. You matter.
When you look at your work a month ago and laugh at it, you know you’re growing.
Bonus Point: Also, when you look at another piece of work from a month ago and feel proud seeing it, you know you’re creating epic work.
Goodbyes are the most beautiful things on the planet.
When we know we have to say a goodbye, all of a sudden we tend to forget what pain they caused us.
We suddenly feel regret on the pains we know we caused to them.
Why does it happen in the first place?
It happens, because we humans tend to live life on the pedestals of tomorrow.
Will make that call tomorrow.
Will call my sister tomorrow.
Will pay the credit card bill tomorrow.
The way we love tomorrow, if we loved our today the same way – no goodbye would be so painful.
Here’s a parting question: Where in your life would we feel bad, if we didn’t get a chance to say a goodbye?
Warren Buffet says that he enjoys his work so much that he would tap dance to work, and paint on the ceiling of Sistine Chapel.
Life is supposed to be like this.
At a point of time in my life, my life didn’t look like this. I hated my days.
Yet I continued investing in my learning.
And what came out of it, is totally novel.
Life feels blissful. Even if I work more, it is the best version of my life so far. Still to get better each day.
The thing that saved me, that will probably save you as well, is: investing in my learning each day. No matter what.
Everything else is just a byproduct.
If you look at your day, you’ll find several things to make the radical shift.
And to look at all of them might sound demeaning.
So here’s the way to change your life:
Change just one thing in your day that causes you most pain.
Just one. Not three. Not five. Just one.
Maybe you check your phone just for ten minutes in the morning and it may get your schedule haywire.
Maybe you have your dinner quite late.
Maybe you get distracted easily in your environment.
What is it that causes you the most pain?
Tackling just one thing will lead to domino effect of life altering habits.
Decide now.
1. Never take a decision with a bad mood. See after two weeks of right mood if that was the right decision.
2. Replacing Instagram with Medium is the best emotional investment ever.
3. Paying your bills on time is a reflection of how eased out your life is.
4. Having to tap dance at work is the goal you have signed up for.
5. There is incredible upside in being honest. Never give up on being that.
Some of the life lessons that have been helping me tremendously these days. Hope they will do the same to you.
Is it okay to take yourself seriously?
Or should you be happy and easy-going?
The answer is: you should take yourself seriously and be easy going in the process.
Take your mindset seriously, and be easy going towards the first time mistakes (second timers are the ones you didn’t learn from).
Take your efforts seriously, and easy going towards someone else’s.
You always know when is it the time to be disciplined and when to chill. You just need to decide – which will come from practising serious discipline as well as easy going discipline.
It’s a feeling that just doesn’t go.
Or sometimes I mix it up with my introversion and love for work.
This is not for likes or comments, just to reveal a wall that’s been hiding.
And I do end up breaking it sometimes, only to come to the stones that built it up in the first place.
That I want to go to the hall and chit chat with my family.
That I want to be optimistic along with sharing that feeling of emptiness within.
That I know that it’s okay to be okay when it’s not okay.
Yet I do none of these.
Because anything that is not stomach ache, fever or diabetes is not a disease – that our society and upbringing has taught us.
Perhaps because they would want to hide it under anger, like everything else.
Perhaps because it requires the need to acknowledge your own inner needs to be able to acknowledge them in other.
Yet on the other side of the tunnel I see hope.
And I trust that hope like sunshine.
And somehow we will manage to come out of it.
I don’t know how to end this, yet this is not the end. For sure.
You know if it is right or not.
Wrong does not require efforts. Right does.
Efforts or nothing. We make a choice every single minute.
The light is always there.
Beyond the clouds when the flight takes off.
After the dawn.
Inside a book.
Everywhere there is the light.
We just need to let it know that it is important. It is needed. It is powerful.
The most important person in a relationship is You.
We build trust by doing what we do for them when they are not around. That builds respect.
Respect is what we do for them when what they do is not what we want to do, yet we do it because we love and respect them.
Read the above line twice. It is important because this is why most relationships falter.
There’s a very close relationship of mine, where I do not feel the need to be around them anymore. We’ve been very well connected, to the extent that when I used to cry alone miles away, she used to have an intuition that something is wrong with me.
Then today, I had a conversation with a mutual friend, who said she has been pushing him to convince me to take a major life step, which I do not want to take.
Then it really hit me to connect the dots. Just because this person does not respect my life choices at an inner level, I had been consistently losing this feeling of being around them.
That is such a deep thing. Not because I was #betrayed. Okay maybe I was, however a deeper thing was that we always act out basis what is happening there inside.
There are no two sides. The white ultimately becomes light grey shortly which ends up becoming black over a period of time.
Trust is something you build when they’re not watching. Hard to build trust with someone if you don’t trust yourself.
I don’t have anger against them, I only have blessings for them to trust and respect themselves. Because it takes a broken person from inside to disrespect and not give trust to the other person’s choices.
For a kid, the parents would never abuse them.
Until they do. For every interaction they have with their kids.
The abuse, sadly, is something which could not be filtered for profanity because it does not use profane words.
It comes in mild words and powerful programming like:
“You won’t be able to do it.”
“Don’t do this. You will fail.”
“You are no good.”
Parents keep telling this to kids, until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
None of us had a perfect childhood. That’s not the problem, that’s the solution.
Because now we have the pen to write the script. As difficult as it may sound, we all write our script daily.
We may choose the script today. Since it is presumably not going to be a repeated one, it is going to take efforts. Yet without efforts, do you want your today to be equally self abusive?
One of the best learnings that covid brought to us is not to put all your eggs in one basket.
Warren Buffet has been saying it for years.
Not only for finances, also for our emotions and sources of income.
More than anything else, we have learnt never to depend on external validation (malls, restaurants, movies,etc.) for making us feel.
Will they support you is not the right question.
The right question is, will you support yourself?
When I had initially learnt to cook, I’d multiply the amount of water and spices by the number of people who were eating the food.
Since I knew the perfect ingredients for my dal rice, i.e., what I cook for myself in Noida – while cooking the same for my parents at home I’d just put 3X water and salt.
Thinking it would work.
Except that it didn’t.
It requires lesser water than 3X of a single person’s water. It is just building up.
In life if we want to do something that seems humongous, we just need to begin the difficult process. As we keep taking small steps, we realise in the latter half of the journey that later you don’t have to make those 3X or 4X of efforts at the start.
The compound interest of your efforts will be more than enough to make you reach the destination.
You just need to start. Will you?
If our thoughts create our destiny,
If our time is limited,
If we have the power,
Then doesn’t it make sense to make a budget for our inner resources just like for our cash and expenses?
The limit is the quality of content and people you surround yourself with.
The limit is the books you don’t read.
The limit is the empathy you don’t give to yourself.
The limit is the chats you have while you shouldn’t.
The limit is the DMs you don’t send.
The limit is the smiles you knew you could spread.
The limit is your decisions.
1. Watering plants makes you feel humbler and happier.
2. Your parents need nothing other than your presence.
3. Cleaning with wiper is both abs and back workout, sweeping the floor is a great cardio.
4. Home cooked chocolate cake is super delicious.
5. Life is wonderful without TV serials!
People will not understand you. They will expect from you, yet they won’t probably reciprocate it.
What to do then?
Should you also reciprocate?
Well, we all have tried it and it never worked.
The only thing that could be the solution for everything, every single thing is to keep yourself strong from inside. It’s an insurance no one could take away.
Like every insurance, you have to pay consistent premium (aka learning) in order to actually avail the benefits.
Like every insurance, you will have to stop frivolous spends (hanging around with those people) to be able to pay premium without fail.