Lessons from today

1. The only way to feeling good is listening and reading inspirational stuff. This may sound boring, however once you start, it ain’t leaving you.

2. But that exposure to stuff won’t change your life. Your life will be changed when you move out of the noise and reflect on what all you learnt. When you become your own teacher and give yourself some homework, that’s when life changes.

3. Your old habits are waiting at your doorstep if you’re not strict with enforcing your newer, better habits.

4. Where there is true love, you accept people as they are.

5. If you want to change something with them, it’s perhaps because they’re reflecting your insecurities and incompleteness.

That’s it for today, folks! See you tomorrow 😌.

Lessons from 66 year old father

Yesterday my father turned 66. While his life has innumerable lessons, here are some that inspire me today:

1. Picked up exercise during lockdown. Still continues it for an hour daily.

2. Loves to go to his work daily. A trait missing in a lot of millennials.

3. Is always there to listen to my problems, without judgement. Ever.

4. Will give up anything but never honesty. That, in turn, brings him tons of blessings.

5. Most importantly, understands the space I am in. Thus, never forces me or even brings up the topic of marriage. Being a boomer and raised by parents who witnessed WW2 and partition of the country, this mindset shift from him is the best gift he could give to me.

Here’s a closing note: Him and I have different points of view on almost everything. Yet, you will miss your father when he is gone. Love him despite the differences. No one would love you like him, and this comes from someone who is the biggest rebel to her father. 🤗

Do you also feel hurt?

Do you feel hurt by people?

You did good to them however they didn’t respond?

What if they didn’t hurt you?

What if they hurt your idea of how you should be treated?

No one, absolutely no one owes you anything. If they’re good, you’re lucky. If they aren’t good, you get stronger.

Did you have a good childhood?

I see a lot of parents of my generation who still teach their kids what to do and what not to do.

That’s the saddest thing to happen.

Because we are creating another version of ourselves.

And we won’t be doing it in the first place if we were proud of what we have become.

Our parents’ generation did not have as many privileges as we have.

Not using the privileges that we have, is probably worse than not having privileges.

If you’re feeling negative

If you’re feeling negative because of someone, there are two options:

You can talk to them. Or you can’t.

If you have the relationship to talk to them, please do. It will clear all the mist.

If that relationship is not where you can talk, does it make sense to lose your sleep over? Perhaps the person needed to be talked to, is you.

Helping and Asking for help

Part I: Giving Help

If you want to help someone else, make sure you’ve helped yourself.

If you think you are still doing them a favour, you are not.

People love to know they’re loved, only if they could feel you loving yourself.

Part II: Asking for Help

If you are asking for someone else’s help out of their obligation to do it for you and out of their inability to not do it willingly, probably you need to rethink your choices.

Conclusion:

The only way to have everything aligned on the outside is to align yourself from within. Nothing changes before that.

29 lessons of 29 years

Today I turned 29.

Damn! The number is so big! Yet why do I feel so young?

Or in other words, how did I get so lucky to be feeling so amazing while the world is conditioned to making us think that we should start with “settling”?

The answer is that I got insanely lucky to make some wonderful decisions. To choose to get out of company of people like whom I didn’t want to become, and to choose the company of rebels, oddballs and misfits — with a strange combination of my core values guard me daily.

However, the last one year had been a strange (and a blessed) one, with loads of mistakes and loads of learning coming along — which I have made an effort to summarize in 29 points below:

  1. The best way to get what you want is to be in the company of people who are doing what you want to do. (If not in person, definitely in their social media accounts and books.)
    PS: It’s okay to not have a 5-year plan. To have a 3 or 6-month plan is equally fine. (“Do you know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all!” — Parasite, 2019)
  2. One of the best arts you will learn is the art of mastering cold emails. Sometimes not even with the purpose of cracking a sale, rather just to form a connection. (Why? See point 1)
  3. I used to eat cheese between my breakfast and lunch as a mid-meal; however a friend copied that habit to eat it as a dessert after dinner! Incorrect timing is the shortcut to failing.
  4. The world really needs to catch up. Being positioned in a warehouse for work, I realized there was no washroom for women, let alone a dustbin to dispose sanitary napkin. No changes have been made there even after writing it to management. The only question we need to ask is: “Would we still be the same if our sister / daughter were projected to same situations?”
  5. Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. The best way to love others is to love yourself.
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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

6. Kindness is superpower. Especially when it’s difficult to display it.

7. Gossiping will do more harm than goodness could do peace.

8. Working out with a personal trainer is game changing — in terms of your discipline, diet, follow-up, and of course how you look and feel within.

9. If you decide to walk at least 10,000 steps a day, you will!

10. Meditation is not a trick only for monks in the Himalayas. It is rather the only vaccination against depression.

11. A small hack for those on diet and travelling: Plain rice with curd and papad is a perfect meal. Saves from oily food of restaurants and provides all micro and macro nutrients.

12. In my former job, we went from our respective cities to the HO. In an evening, we went for a get-together to a Chinese restaurant; however I do not consume onion and garlic. So, we finally went to an Indian restaurant where I ordered khichdi, while others continued with having other oily food. Lesson: it’s okay to stand by your dharma in a matter of crisis. The only thing you will get is immense support.

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Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash

13. When you’re misunderstood, you need to humbly stand for yourself.

14. Law of attraction works like magic. With a caveat — only if you’ve done the hard work. If I have never jumped into a pool and I wish to win a gold medal in Olympics next month, the only thing I deserve is a headache.

15. Not judging your family is the biggest gift to them. They are fighting a tough battle which we aren’t aware of.

16. Sleeping and waking up on time (and no screen time for 1 hour prior and after) will solve almost all your problems.

17. You’re becoming successful when outer success is coupled with smaller and lesser need to seek validation from others.

18. The intuition you have about people is stronger (and always truthful) than the image they’re trying to project. To rephrase, “Empathy cannot be taught. You’re either born with it or you aren’t.” — Ankur Warikoo

19. Like almost all other families, mine is also a dysfunctional one. Yet, their presence is the biggest therapy.

20. It’s okay to have a few or no friends than to have many who laugh at your progress.

21. I live a healthy lifestyle however I was hospitalized twice in last two years. Lying on that hospital bed, I realized this is simply my life shouting out loud to make a change.

22. Patience majnu, patience!

23. Consistent content creation will make you survive when everything else won’t. Even when you’re applying for a position with no qualification, experience of your content will take you to places.

24. Taking time to witness the sunrise is the best way to protect your (in)sanity.

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Photo by Rachel Cook on Unsplash

25. In the last year I have been denied chances and been (almost) cursed by people who used to “treat me as their daughter” just because I followed an unconventional path being a female. However, I have also got respect and great work because of the same reason. External or internal validation. We get to choose either every single day.

26. No. No. Absolutely no. With kindness, bro!

27. People do what they know is the best. In 90% cases they aren’t intentional about it.

28. The world inside you needs to get out — through writing, creating videos, making drawings, dancing, singing — anything! It will keep you sane and the world will silently learn from your example.

29. The journey of going within will always settle things on the outside. Always.

That’s it, folks! 29 years, 29 lessons, loads of love from family — such an amazing time to be alive in!

Even if a single word made sense to you, I’ve done my job well! We are, after all, the stories we tell ourselves. Keep rocking folks, and I’ll see you tomorrow!

Not in their WhatsApp stories

I’m sure there must be some people whom we have kept out of viewing our Instagram and WhatsApp stories. The reason could be any – whether we don’t want them to know about our life, or we simply don’t want them to be in our life at all! 

Think about it for a second: what if someone has already kept you out of their stories?

It’s natural to have a FOMO and feel bad as well.

However, what if that could be one of the best things to happen to you today?

Why do we want to know everything about everyone?

What will be the consequences if we don’t know that? Simple – we would be at more peace. And that’s elusive. Lack of indulgence is greatest power.

The scariest question

What if there is no one who loves me?

This is a scary question.

However the answer is a simple one.

No one actually loves you.

If you feel love is coming to you from someone, it’s because they are so full of love that they radiate it.

If you feel you are loved, that’s because you believe yourself to be worthy of love.

Love – is never to be experienced from others.

You can just fill yourself with so much love that you are radiating and receiving it all the time.

That is your true nature.

It removes all doubts of not being loved.

The question is, what will you do to get back to you?

No prescriptions, just the truth that you deserve needs to be the answer.

It makes it very clear that love is what you are made up of.