Raw. Real. Unfiltered. Daily blogs. Often, less than 100 words
I read somewhere that pain is just pain. Someone else’s intensity of pain doesn’t reduce your pain.
While most people may agree, I tend to disagree.
Someone else’s intensity of pain might be different from yours. And if we are unable to acknowledge that, it makes us more selfish and less empathetic.
If we are in pain and still can acknowledge someone else is in pain, we are truly a caring human being.
Do you often see yourself huddling with waste thoughts?
You decided to stay focused, and five minutes later you are scrolling endlessly?
Happens with you?
We would have read hundreds of texts and literature on how to change that, and of all those, one has been the most effective: To always keep listening to motivational audios or read such books. I personally have started doing it morning and evening, and the results have been way better.
Now stretching it to four hours a day while working on mundane activities.
Not because it will give me motivation to act, rather because we are accustomed to act in a manner consistent with what we hear and whom we spend time with. Since what we hear and whom we spend time with isn’t something wonderful in today’s world, why not start with doing it on purpose?
Any habit that we form on purpose is what we reap benefits of without waiting for. Always.
I almost forgot to write today’s blog post.
And now, while sleeping, reminded of that.
So, what is it about today?
Hmm, I’m thinking of charging for consulting as well over the call. Okay, the client is going to pay me beautifully when the work starts, however why do I behave like a fool and offer 2.5 hours of free consulting?
Nishtha, grow up!
No one will value you if you don’t do that to yourself.
That said, the last leg of brainstorming with the client is left, will seek guidance from God in meditation early morning tomorrow, if it is right to charge or be modest if the contract is already yours.
Chalo, good night peops!
O yes.
It is weird sometimes.
People behave in strange ways.
They act as if they don’t care.
And more than anything else, they tell you that you matter however, that is the last thing you see.
So, what to do?
Take care of yourself buddy!
The advice is real, the execution in takes all the effort. And if you are you, there is no one that can shake you.
Negative things about getting a positive life
1. Honesty is an expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.
– Warren Buffet
2. When people show you who they are, believe them.
– Maya Angelou
3. The best way to deal with corporate politics is to live by and speak your truth. It will make you undefeatable.
4. People will play games against you. Worry not, for they not know against whom are they playing the real game.
5. Don’t trust your extremely good or bad moods. What happens in the middle – your intuitions, people’s behaviours, what you want to do – that is the real stuff.
Some small reflections about life, that were sadly not as positive, however, very important to inch towards positivity and not being affected by the negativity of others.
Two months back, I had lost a high-paying client.
Though there was a good lot of other work from other clients as well, this loss did affect me – at least emotionally.
So one morning at around 8:45 am, I was sitting in my room and pondering, when I saw my father. He was being his normal self, making the wick for the diya, and lighting it up with ease and gratitude.
And that moment – in a moment of nothingness, something happened.
I don’t know what, but something just hit me!
Today I came across a wonderful story on LinkedIn, wanted to share the lesson from it here.
A guy had gone to a tea stall, where he saw a father struggling to get his daughter admitted into a top college.
The man had worked really hard, and the daughter had gotten into a top engineering college. More so, he was willing to work harder to support her through college.
So this guy who posted on LinkedIn offered his help, and after few minutes of helping him out, also offered this Uncle to keep his phone number. Now he will help Uncle and his daughter.
Which brings me to hunger.
When we are hungry in life, we help others in satisfying their hunger.
When we are happy in life, we help others get happier.
When we have risen from nothing, we love to help others rise up.
However, only the people without entitlement can do it.
Only the people who love hard work can help others in theirs. The ones who feel they can work less and get done with, don’t know what lies ahead of them.
Only the people who believe they “have it all” actually have it all. As the 1984 Apple commercial states: “They push the human race forward.”
So, are we pushing the human race forward? Or are we pushing ourselves backward by letting entitlement get in?
As a kid, a neighbourhood uncle used to call me “moti”, which is a Hindi translation for “fat girl”.
Not that I was fat, rather because as I introspect now, that was merely a reflection of his un-developed brain’s immunopsychological response to bringing people down.
People do it all the time:
You don’t appear happy, while in reality, they aren’t.
I can’t love you, because being devoid of love was how I was raised, and changing myself is a mammoth task.
I won’t update my LinkedIn profile and network with people, because struggling to find a job is how I finally get a job, and that struggle keeps me safe.
The blankets we throw at others are virtually the ones we are covering ourselves with.
Which brings me to this neighbourhood Uncle.
So when he used to address me “Moti” as a kid, I used to retaliate. Get angry. Cry. Scream. Literally beg not to call me moti.
Today morning, while returning from my meditation class, that Uncle saw me again. And he called me “moti” thrice. And I moved on, without responding.
Sometimes, what we were years back, we don’t drift from there even a bit.
I’m glad I wasn’t that today morning.
I feel for him that he hasn’t grown a bit in years.
So, my question to you is: “Are you still fat,” where “fat” means the thickness of the brain that makes it almost impossible for new knowledge to percolate?
Or have you lost that weight and become lean, where you allow the new muscles to form and happily let go of the stagnant ones?
“Do you have a passport?”
“I’m so sorry I bought it on Kindle, I don’t have the free download link.”
“Premium economy is a wonderful upgrade from Economy class.”
“You like this jacket? This is from Zara.”
“The beachside hotels in Goa are really lavish!”
Some of the lines I get to hear – because I live a minimalist lifestyle.
Instead of feeling bad about it, I am often amused at how people judge someone for not going out or repeating the same pair of shoes. Which in fact, also, allows me to aware of not to judge people based on how less they have. It may just be a choice.
(PS: On a lighter note, when people of Delhi go to Mumbai, they have to take off this judgement.)
To answer the above quetions:
Yes
I only buy legit books, because being an author myself, I know that a lot of people’s bread and butter is dependent on books.
Yes, thanks for this. I have travelled in Premium Economy. Next time, please boast about Business Class:)
Yes baby, I read “ZARA” written over there. I was being genuinely kind.
Of course, enjoy your Goa. I will enjoy it my way without documenting it:)
Firstly, judging isn’t right, because we never know what they are going through.
Secondly, even if they don’t have what you have, we don’t get big or small by the things we own. This comes from an experience of owning some shiny things. In fact, when we boast about things, they own us.
Thirdly, minimalism is the real richness. Ever tried?
Anyone can “get it done” by working late nights, being on phone 24*7 and “hustling” too hard.
The real hard work is sleeping on time, knowing when to disconnect from the devices (yes the devices that make you money), and not push too hard and let your boredom make things happen.
The smart ones choose Option 2.
The ones who want to look “smart” keep writing on Internet about it – because, busy!
What’s the point of living life if you don’t even know where your day passes or your body has become what even a senior citizen’s body isn’t or in this endless consumption, you didn’t even remember a line of what you consumed.
Slow down is the new fasttrack.
Everyone has a dark side.
I am good to you, but maybe I am not the same way to everyone, where I should be.
Someone is a good boss, but he fires one of his employees after every half a year.
A human being talks about culture, yet fails to maintain it for themselves.
What should we do when do have a dark side?
Here’s what: Think about challenging your beliefs in solitude. It would be hard, but then you would not be hard on others.
It was a delay in delivery of work from one of our delivery partners.
What was supposed to be delivered in two days, was easily and conveniently taking a week.
In the first week itself, they broke several promises.
As a result, I was asked to be stern with them. Which I did.
In the coming week, they again faltered.
This time I became stern without being asked to.
As a result, I was told to be the nice and kind girl, and let the sternness be the game of the seniors.
Which made me think: I let go of my original nature of being kind, it only backfired on me.
I am known for being kind and compassionate, however, I let go of my real original nature (which, in fact, is a good virtue to possess) and that backfired on me.
Lesson learnt: NEVER let go of your goodness, even when the world wants you to.
The state with which you enter your home.
The way you walk from the parking entrance to your vehicle.
How much are you ready to ignore to make your happiness a priority.
How much you’re ready to endure to make others are happy
How to look at the person in the mirror – smiling or critical
The sigh or the joy on waking up.
Water bottle kept next to your laptop.
Not using phone because you want to read.
The general convo drifting around how bad your luck was, or how hopeful life is!
Small things that define our life in biggest ways.
Have a pattern.
They will be unkind to you 10 times, and kind to you once. So that they can lean into that kindness and make you feel worthless 10 more times.
It happens in so many relationships of all kinds that it isn’t funny.
Here is my advice: Go build yourself. Go surround yourself with right people. Run away from wrong people. Even though they will always make you feel you are wrong, and spineless. Even if they call you names and question your character.
The safest people will always love you like a human being and not like vending machine, even if (especially if) you have made a massive error
Do you get the same engagement on all your social media posts?
Do you feel the same emotions for your parents always?
Do you like having chocolate cake / pizza / (your favourite dish) for all meals of the day?
Do you like watching your favourite movie every single day?
Do you like going to the same place for vacation every year?
We want novelty. That’s where the brain’s sweet spot lies.
So when you don’t receive the same responses from people. They have their patterns, and places.
You’ll find yourself to be more peaceful when you live from that awareness.
All of a sudden, I’ve enjoyed being with my family now.
Now that vaccine is almost there, now that there is a job to look up to, now that I’ll be back to Delhi somewhere by the end of winter, I’ve already started missing my parents.
They’re (not so much) weird for me, and I guess so am I for them.
This moment, is all you have!
As a line from one of my favourite songs goes: “Reh jayengi, yeh nishaaniyaan, rahein naa rahein hum! Aa jee le ek pal mein sau janam!”
How can you get what you want?
One option is very valid: Try. Put in the efforts. Do the hard work. Which is all very beautiful and necessary.
There’s another option as well: See yourself as awareness, just aware of everything.
It takes a lifetime to learn the second one. But when we do, we won’t read a blog titled “How to get what you want” 🙂
It is said that when you make something public, there are far greater chances of you getting back on course with things that aren’t serving you.
So, here’s me trying to document my day.
Not sure if I could document everything, but here’s the good and the parts to be changed.
To be changed:
Good things that happened:
Hmm…that was fun. I should be doing more of these. Makes life accountable.
Alright then, see you tomorrow.
Till then, take great care peops!
The world thinks you’re winning.
But deep down, you are crying.
The world thinks they are jealous of you.
Deep down, you just wish you could not be you.
The world thinks you are a butterfly
While you are simply getting out of cocoons everyday
The world thinks your life is sorted
Well, that’s what you think of the world…
If you win according to the world but not you
Is that really a win?
The win that you are looking for
Is the win that is hidden within
In a corner of your heart that is silent and loud
Lies cuddled up the win that you went looking far for
If you really work hard and get better, you will get where you want to.
If you keep forgiving people, you will get lighter.
If you keep eating a bit lesser, soon you will get to your desired destination.
If you keep persisting when you are supposed to give up, you will get great rewards instantly over a period of time.
If you be there for yourself, you will be able to be there for others as well. Not vice versa.
It turns out, we already know all the answers. We just need to decide, as Seth Godin says.